07.01.11 ♥ 0
Finally got that Osama Bin Laden!
Kiddies, this is terrifying. Anyone else have an experience like this?
When I was five years old, I was abducted by a pair of meth heads in the small town of Nichols, NY. I lived in a tiny camper on the grounds of the K.O.A. while my adopted “parents” cooked up methamphetamine for the local Hell’s Angels. Promising that they would take me to see a Disney movie or any family-friendly fare, these sick fucks would end up sneaking me into seeing fucked-up shit like SALON KITTY, HOT SUMMER IN THE CITY, LONG JEANNE SILVER and the most fucked up one of them all LAST HOUSE ON DEAD END STREET.
This cinematic pool of bile was directed by Roger Watkins of Owego, NY. It’s a truly underground, sickening piece of shit that must be viewed by anyone who dares to call themselves a true Satanist.
1977. I wanted to see THE APPLE DUMPLING GANG, my “parents” told me that it was playing at the V Drive-in in Vestal. They shoved me in the trunk and drove from Nichols to Vestal. The exhaust smell was so bad that I thought I was going to die. The next thing I knew, “Mom” was pouring a warm bottle of orange Fanta on my face to wake me up. ”Wake the fuck up, asshole…” she said as she kindly wiped my face with a dirty pair of underoos.
I made myself comfortable on the roof of the Grand Torino (which was stolen) and ate a bag of stale Lay’s potato chips my “dad” shoplifted from the P and C in Owego. After sitting through trailers for THE TOOLBOX MURDERS, WELCOME HOME BROTHER CHARLES and THREE ON A MEATHOOK, I had the distinct feeling that I was not going to watch THE APPLE DUMPLING GANG.
The beginning of LAST HOUSE ON DEAD END STREET was kinda boring. It had this guy in a leather jacket, fresh out of jail, walking around upstate New York alot, and his voiceover. But it doesn’t take too long for the shit to hit the fan, and before you know it, there’s blood, guts, sex, and most impressively, a man fellating a deer-hoof strap on dildo.
My five year old eyes were burning. I was so fucking damaged by this movie, that I rolled myself up in a ball and ended up rolling off the hood of the car, across the windshield and falling to the ground. My “parents” laughed so hard that they drove off, ripping the speakers off the ground and leaving me there, alone.
Luckily, an old man drove me back to the K.O.A.
I give this movie five out of five scars.
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